First time? Scroll all the way down to see and read it all.
New!! Check out this mug shot series of a young woman who died from heroin... you can see the downward spiral that I think is compareable to the long term effects of eating disorders... please check it out. clickhere
Help me...
Are You Willing To Die For This?
Also new! - more Karen Carpenter memories - here
" I'd R a t h e r B e D e a d T h a n F a t "
Most of you know of the VERY powerful memorial site located at the wonderful Something Fishy Eating Disorder Web page (see Connections section). People die from eating disorders and this is a very serious matter. This section is about that reality. If you have an eating disorder and are reading this, you may very well be dying right now. The title of this section is not a joke, it is simply a commonly heard phrase as well as a sad truth uttered by American women in a Glamour Magazine poll. The drama the phrase implies is a harsh one, but hopefully it will make some of you stop and really think.
These lives are over. These YOUNG people died needlessly and painfully and SLOWLY.
Starving to death is NOT beautiful or poetic, it is an UGLY UGLY death and a painful one. Starved bodies ache all the time. The skin bruises, the muscles cramp and deteriorate, the brain slows and slurs, the bowels STOP working on their own (there is nothing glamorous about that), the bones splinter and hurt and break, the body is constantly weak but ceases to be able to sleep restfully (why? because your body thinks it needs to stay awake to hunt for food, the body assumes it is in a famine)... the mouth dries, the eyes fog (some people will go BLIND from starving), the heart flutters and beats hard and painfully, and there can be many scary moments prior to actual death where the body feels so sick and like its dying (because it is).
Working in hospitals, I have witnessed this first hand. Death from bulimia nervosa is equally traumatic. The heart is damaged, the stomach and digestive system are unable to work properly and the aches and pains of simple digestion are horrible, including gas and heartburn of abnormal proportions, constipation and diarrhea and nothing else, headaches and bellyaches and constant sore throats... the skin is AGED (as it is in anorexia, just look at Karen Carpenter who died at the young age of 32, but appeared 45) and often broken out and grayish or yellowish (depending on one's skin color)... having bulimia often means electrolyte imbalances which cause a body to feel constantly sick, dizzy, agitated, anxious, and nervous. The body is NOT in control, the DISEASE is.
People die from compulsive eating more than from anorexia and bulimia, but due to the autopsy reporting, obesity will be listed rather than an eating disorder. This means we can't begin to grasp the number of amazing, loving, talented, interesting people who have died from binge eating disorder... a lonely, desperate disease that has the most vicious cycle known: feel bad, eat, feel worse, eat, feel even worse, eat, feel even worse than before, eat, feel worse than ever thought possible, eat, feel worse than imaginable, eat, ETC. The rejection that our society dumps on large size people is even more dreadful and the enormous amount of sadness involved is overwhelming. I've had the PRIVILEGE of meeting Joe S., for example, a delightful but very depressed man who died from compulsive eating at the young, young age of 29 years. Comic Chirs Farley died in 1997.
TRUTH ABOUT DEATH FROM BULIMIA
Yes, you can DIE from bulimia and it doesn't matter what you weigh. Here is the hard, cold truth: Bulimia is LIFE THREATENING every time you purge. Most bulimics DIE OVER A TOILET BOWL. Most bulimics DIE while in the act of purging, and are found unconscious next to the toilet. You know this because you feel your own heart racing each time that you make yourself purge. The sudden change in electrolyte balance can stop the heart from beating (electrolytes are like electricity in our bodies, electrolytes give power to our hearts, like a motor). Each act of purging is a direct threat to your physical life. Period.
* THERE OUGHT NOT TO BE A SINGLE OTHERWISE-HEALTHY YOUNG PERSON FOUND DEAD FROM BULIMIA NEXT TO A TOILET. IT IS UP TO US TO CHANGE THINGS. IT IS UP TO YOU. WE NEED INTERNAL MIRRORS, NOT EXTERNAL ONES. Please think about it.
If they were still alive, twin sisters Michela & Samantha Kendel would tell you "an eating disorder is not worth it".
They would share with you how awful each day was, to live in their dying aching bodies and to battle with their hyperactive food-obsessed thoughts. After her twin sister died from anorexia, Samantha would tell you how lost she felt and how those left behind are in such turmoil and disbelief. Samantha would say her sister would've wanted Samantha to fight on and stop the disease from its utter destruction. But Samantha is gone now too. Though she outlived her twin sister (her best friend) by almost two years, Samantha's body was so brutalized by the eating disorder that a short stint of recovery, which followed Michela's death, was not enough. Both sisters are dead, ending their terribly young lives abruptly and painfully. I know they did not wish anyone else to suffer and struggle the way they did, day in and day out, with food and weight. I know if they had the opportunity they could have learned to love themselves with the same urgency that they loved each other. But anorexia stole their chance away and took them both, horrific and tragic, anorexia has no mercy...
* Please note: Samantha was not at a ridiculous low weight when she died, though Michela was (as she is in the photo). The twins were on the Maury Povich talk show before their deaths, and their public story has helped England to recognize the need for psychological treatment along with medical treatment in disordered eating.
* There are no benefits to eating disorders. In fact, eating disorders backfire like no other disease, in that often you will ruin your metabolism with an eating disorder (any of the three) and, in turn, make your body better at storing FAT rather than burning it/using it. The truth is that if you are willing to DIE to look a certain way you have something more complicated going on. This is when it becomes a "disorder" and not just another Western Culture beauty ideal gone wrong. I URGE you to be willing to find out why you are risking your death for your eating disorder. Be willing to get to know yourself well enough to know why you will DIE for this obsession.
The pictures below are there in an effort to put a face to the names of just a few of the many, many beautiful souls that have been LOST to the eating diseases. You need to know this is real because it could be YOU. I am not kidding and I am not being overly-dramatic, this point can't be overstated enough.
YOU CAN DIE FROM ANOREXIA, BULIMIA, and COMPULSIVE EATING.
THESE PICTURES ARE DISTURBING. (obviously, as this is a disturbing topic)
If you haven't already seen the memorial site at Something Fishy, I am begging you to look at it now. And if you know of anyone who has lost their one, precious life to disordered eating please consider adding a candle for them on the site, the more candles visible, the more light may shine on this dreadfully important issue. (see Connections for links)
Thank you. Blessed Be. Lisa
N e w ! | N e w ! |
CLICK HERE TO READ-
The Los Angeles Times article on Stacey Asbury who died from Anorexia on Sept. 12, 1993
please don't let this be you!!!
Letter Boxed ~ letters to this section ~ Dedicated to Alison Click Here
Be careful! Don't get caught in a web you cannot escape from...
created by Lisa Arndt, M.A.
Trinity Copyright 2003
If you want to use a small sample from this site on your own, please be sure to credit and link this site... as I work hard to put it together and pay to have it available to view without ads or popups... so I'm asking for due credit!
