F u l l

Hunger is a natural body signal that attempts to communicate between our bodies and minds. We have hunger for many things, hunger for love, hunger for attention, hunger for meaning, hunger for interesting jobs, hunger for relaxation, hunger for play, hunger for independence, hunger for success, hunger for companionship, hunger for passion, hunger for art, hunger for life!

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE METAPHOR IN HUNGER.

People with eating disorders have lost touch with their hungers. On a physical level, which is the most obvious one, but also on an emotional and spiritual level. Attempting to "feed" one's hunger is a rather profound task if you no longer know what your hungers are or what you are hungry for. Re-learning how to pay attention to hunger signals from your body and then re-discovering how to FILL those hungers is an important part of recovering from disordered eating and returning to a more satisfying life.

One of the most difficult but vital parts of my beginning stages of recovery was tackling the issue of hunger. In anorexia, one is DENYING one's hunger both literally and metaphorically. The anorexic logic is that we don't deserve anything, we can have no needs, we must not ask for anything... so hungers are seen as terribly bad, shameful, and provoke guilt and self-hate. WHERE we got the message that it is WRONG to WANT, I don't know. I got it from many places, society included. I thought people who denied their hungers were strong, but now I believe people who deny their hungers are cut-off from nature (their own nature) and are denying reality (by pretending they are not human, since humans definitely have hungers, many hungers, and all for good reason!), and are denying that they have BODY WISDOM.

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BODY WISDOM is exactly that- our bodies are VERY wise and have LOTS to tell us if we would just listen! Actually, a LOT of the "answers" people are looking for in life already exist INSIDE of our bodies, inside ourselves, but the answers are whispered very quietly (unlike the outside world, screaming at the top of its' lungs, though rarely saying anything useful). Your wonderfully wise body already knows what it needs to be at it's maximum potential (this includes LOOKING IT'S BEST, as in that healthy glow that healthy people have, the fullest/healthiest/shiniest hair possible for that body, the best possible skin for that body, the most youthful appearance, the most energy that body can have when taken care of properly, etc..... this means the best your god-given body is ever going to appear is only going to be a result of you taking the best care of your body, NOT you damaging your body willingly and consciously on a daily basis!!). The problem is YOU are getting in your body's way by denying, ignoring and abusing it's signals of hunger.

HUNGER is not addressed when a person is on a major BINGE. Though it may seem like a binge is a way to satisfy hunger (the craving for salt and/or sugar... actually, I remember going from sugary foods to salty foods, back to sugar, back to salt, etc. during my binges...) because a person isn't denying themselves food, but, in fact, a binge is an outright avoidance of real hunger and it is also ignoring the body message about being FULL. If life feels EMPTY all the time, if you feel empty, then the feeling of fullness may seem foreign.

Oddly, our bodies know both HUNGER and FULLNESS levels that, if followed, would NATURALLY (without dieting) produce our bodies natural healthy weight. It's so backwards that the DIETING industry tells us that our bodies know nothing and that they have the answers!! How could they?? If ANY OTHER BUSINESS had a FAILURE rate of 98% that business would be gone! But the dieting industry, though it fails 98% (meaning 98% of dieters will gain the weight back, and usually an extra few pounds because the metabolism has been traumatized), is a huge business taking away 6 Billion of YOUR MONEY every year. Think about it! Your body has a FREE diet plan built in and the work to listen to your body is going to be much more valuable than the work of denying yourself food and loading up on diet food.

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So... how do we listen to our bodies?? How do we re-connect with our hungers (both physical, emotional, and spiritual ones)?? Well, if you are WILLING TO TRY (which, by the way, is ESSENTIAL otherwise most suggestions, mine or anyone else's, will never have the healing power they might contain if one is ready and willing), I suggest the following:

• Zen Raisin: Take a raisin (or small bite-sized piece of food) and put it in your mouth, then, slowly and consciously TASTE the flavor and texture, keeping it in your mouth for a long time, meditating on the entire simple experience; chewing slowly and consciously, be AWARE of your physical reactions, from your mouth, throat and stomach. Pay attention to the information coming from your body, this is the language in which your body speaks to you... it isn't English, or even words for that matter, it is a series of sensations and you "read" them.

• Zen Meal: Do the above exercise with a meal, taking all the time you need and making yourself familiar with your body and it's communications while you are eating (at Rader Programs this type of practice was done daily at our "Gentle Lunch" time, other treatment centers have similar exercises, and I encourage you to eat this way on a regular basis).

• Hunger Journal: Just like a food diary that many nutritionists (especially those working with eating disorder clients) will ask you to fill out, a hunger journal asks you to pay attention to your hunger and be conscious of when food hunger may surface and what it feels like and how you react to it (anger, confusion, surprise, etc.). Write down the time and, if you can, body location of the hunger pains, and your thoughts about it.

• Get to know yourself and your body (the body that you have NOW, not the body you wish for or the body you want or anything thing else!!). If you don't feel any hunger pains at first, don't give up, someone who has suffered with disordered eating for a long time has lost touch with their hunger and, in turn, their hunger has lost touch with them! So your body may not be able to feel the sensations of hunger until some healthy re-feeding type meals have been consumed, but giving your body a CHANCE is a sign of love and respect that ONLY YOU can offer, not your therapist or loved ones. So it is going to be up to you to try something different and then assess if you appreciate the results or not... of course, the TRYING comes first!

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I remember, early on in recovery, when I felt hunger right before dinner time and, not only that, I actually "heard" my body tell me what FOOD it wanted to eat!! (Not surprisingly, I was craving chicken = protein, and broccoli = iron, which my poor body desperately lacked) I was able to give my body the food it wanted and eat a "normal" sized portion (without going into the familiar BINGE mode) and then stop and feel SATISFIED (wow!!) and good, warm, healthy, a bit scared but OKAY. It was an amazing moment.

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... may you FEED yourself: mind, BODY, & soul!

Blessings, Lisa