(The result of bulimia on your teeth)
R E A L I T Y B I T E S
page 1 (click for page 2)
This section is dedicated to the wonderful people at Deja.com's Eating Disorder Support Discussion Board who have given me priceless feedback and have taught me to always consider suggestions and always be willing to improve this site. They have also taught me to sometimes ignore the critics, develop a thicker skin, and do what I want!
In eating disorders it is common to find "all or nothing" style thinking, meaning one sees the world in black and white, with no gray. Skinny or fat, food or starvation, etc. This is an inaccurate perception of our world, which, in fact is full of grays, of variations, of multi-levels and of different degrees... Interestingly enough, I have received more of an "all or nothing" response to this site. Some people don't like the fact that I have images of anorexics throughout the site, while others find my direct honest approach refreshing.
Rather than go on about it, I will simply let you see for yourselves, by posting some of the e-mails (both positive and negative) I have received in the two short weeks Anorexic Web has been on the internet. Let me just say that it is absolutely my intention to help people, not harm them...
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Date: Wed, Oct 6, 1999,
hi! I just wanted to tell you that I like your page a LOT. I bet you got a ton of hits recently, because someone posted your URL on my ED list... I was really suprised that I'd never seen your site before, since I generally have seen them all... But I really like this site. It's different from the other ones I've seen. The EDU part reminded me of a section from "Eves Apple" by Johnathan Rosen... the character's ED'd girlfriend drags him around town following around an anorexic... Anyways, good work on the page! I feel like I've "known" you for years because I always read all of the updates on Caron. Amy V.
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Lisa
I enjoyed your site with a couple of exceptions..... the photo gallery.... there are a few reasons why I am a little shocked at the inclusion of such a page. Firstly, I don't see how it promotes recovery or even raises awareness of eating disorders. Indeed, it is likely to make many people want to compete with the people in the pictures. Such images really don't help people with eating disorders. Although I would say the harsh reality of ED's does need to be addressed, I don't believe this is the most appropriate way of doing it. Other than that, there were many good points about your site and indeed it was recommended to me by someone.
Matt Hayes Editor of Pale Reflections www.pale-reflections.com
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Lisa,
Thank you for your well written and anorexic web. I am a 26 year old female with a masters degree in counseling and have been struggling with disordered eating of some sort for the past 13 years. About four months ago I decided to lose the extra weight I was 5'5 and 166lbs. After losing 41 lbs since May why is it I still have trouble admitting I have a problem. (Yes, being a professional, I know too much for my own good, I keep showing my husband the DSM IV criteria for anorexia, which I don't meet, to reassure him that I am fine. Of course I never show him the criteria for Eating Disorder NOS.) Thank you for your brutal honesty. Part of me clings to the embarrassment of "should have known better" because there are extra letters after my name. Your site is helping me break down the barriers of denial. One suggestion I have is starting up a chat or e-mail buddy list for medical professionals with disordered eating. I feel all alone out here. Thank you again,
Rachel
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LISA'S NOTE:
In response to the above letters and other letters, I have made some changes to the Anorexic Web and I will continue to do so. I do believe that if having some photos gets eating disorder sufferers to this page and then there is helpful information available (all over the page, if one doesn't only look at the photos) that perhaps those still struggling will take advantage of my positive healing information as they become ready to recover. I don't believe seeing photos makes anyone sick... but I understand it can be very triggering to continue disease behaviors. I make it VERY clear throughout this site that the photos are representative only of a small percentage of people with eating disorders and that what needs to be examined is our obsession with these extreme cases. I am calling attention to what I think has been going on in the eating disordered community for a long time but I have not seen people outright discussing it. I myself was never such an extreme case and so my own example is more typical of an eating disorder, that is, no extreme weight!
ALSO, the text before the pictures is meant to be read before viewing the photos because I am attempting to make a point!! :-)
In the end, I am only trying to help with this site and nothing else. I will be careful and I remain open to your opinions. Thank you! Lisa
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Dear Lisa,
Just wanted to let you know I think you are doing a really good job on this site. I read some of the emails from the people who were upset. I think everyone needs to ask themselves if this the place for them. Everytime something is public like this people will abuse it. I would hate to see it change because it does help many people to THINK about why we do the things we do, think the things we do, and want the things we do. I think you are doing great. This sight is a slap in the face for me when I am ready to give in. Seeing the words "Everyone of us can die" really makes me think. It isn't sugar-coated or lessened, its the truth.
Best wishes and keep it up!
Jenny (from Oxnard)
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Dear Lisa,
As a sufferer and a counselor and a host of my own website, yours scares me. The site itself is wonderfully informative and will scare the hell out of people. It offers a quick reality check, that's for sure. The part that disturbs me is the photo gallery. I was horrified. I guess
that is what you are trying for. But it scares me because I know first hand how anorexics compete. I sure as hell don't want to look like that, but some people do.
I am glad you are recovered. But would you have been strong enough not to compete with these images when you were in the grips of the disease? I welcome your feedback.
The photos...they did scare me. I don't ever want to look like that. But, I know people who do. Your site in it's entirety, however, is wonderful and I am sure it will help a lot of sufferers of eating disorders.
Sincerely, Shannon
Dear Shannon, I appreciate your feedback... it made me think. I am working on the photo gallery making changes and when I was in my illness I sought these kinds of pictures, but if I had found them ALONG WITH some good advice that might have been useful, either way i would have found them. Thank you for taking the time to write me! Lisa
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Lisa:
First of all thank you very much for you web site. I was brought to it by a e-mail friend who also suffers Eating Disorder. Your site is very informative, and if you don't get it after viewing your site you will! I personally have dealt with it all for over 25 years. I continue to fight this. And I am not willing to let it win. I go back and forth between recovery and then letting it take me again.
Let me say I am offended by the critics that write your site. (although everyone is entitled to their own words) How can you not view this with an open mind and realize that there are very few real sites out there for people with Eating Disorders to go to. Yes some might be going to it for the tricks.. I can't say the amount of books I have read and thought oh I haven't tried that trick yet? But this is a REAL disorder nothing at all fake about it. I sincerely hope you continue this site. Be real Lisa... don't hide the facts about this, to many people try to hide it and pretend they or their loved ones don't suffer from it. Reality is hard sometimes but so is life.. and it is only up to ourselves to choose life or death. And your site deffintley shows a part of the death part... but also shows that there are survivors of this and we can live!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for a great site Lisa!!!!!!! -Joy
Hi Joy! thank you for your letter!! I appreaciate it completely. I am trying to stay "real" and I thank you for noticing and I'm glad you found the site! It's my dream come true! Cheers, Lisa
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Dear Lisa,
I have looked over this site with an open mind and a starved anorexic body and brain...and it has shown me what I am choosing if I don't look to recovery. I will get well...I must. Your site is full of insight. I deeply aprreciate the time and effort you put inot this and the responsible way you posted things that some may find controversial (like the photos or the 'tricks of the trade') but I saw it as very responsibly written, and we all KNOW it is a part of our illness to want to know and look...thank you for just coming out with it and stating it all for what it is. I looked at those pictures and did not feel as if I wanted to compete...it scared me to know where I was headed. I will look forward to my therapy session today knowing I am one step closer to recovery, and farther away from this devestating illness. Thank you for being here Lisa, and for your honesty and courage to put yourself out there with this information. You are truely someone with a lot to offer the world, and I'm glad you are recovering yourself.
Rita
Lisa,
I find your site to be the most cutting-edge cut-the-crap presentation to date. While I'm not discrediting fabulous sites like the Something Fishy site, yours takes an approach that really speaks to those of us who are in the throes of an eating disorder. My heart jumped when I came across the part about "looking at pictures on the anorexic rec site...reading books like Wasted for tips...." etc. I expend so much energy trying to motivate myself to starve that it's bringing the rest of my life to a grinding halt. Being ADD, it is very hard for me to focus. Anorexia is something I can focus on, an abstract goal I can work toward with visible results that I can take with me everywhere I go. It is also bullshit. I want to put the drug down, but it is too enticing, too tempting.
As for posting tips on your web pages, I think it depends on who your readers are. I can look at the section on laxative abuse and say "Yeah, I can see where it's completely illogical to use laxatives to lose weight." Other readers might not. They may think you are lying. Nevertheless, I think the reasons for posting the tips is brilliant and a brave thing to do, regardless of the controversy surrounding it. Face it - if your readers don't find the tips here, they will find them elsewhere. Props to you, Lisa!
Sincerely, D
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Click here for page 2 of Reality Bites.
