R E A L I T Y B I T E S

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Dear L, In response to your mail...

>You have made a conscious choice to be graphic - including pictures from the Memorial and referances to numbers in the poem Anorexic Logic.

Yes... and I have recently put up a "Mission Statement" under the Taste section in an effort to explain why I am different from other E.D. sites...

>Do you think you are endangering people by providing them with this information? Or are your frequent disclaimers enough?

The disclaimers are there so that people remember they have FREE WILL to either continue looking at the site or stop. I am not endangering anyone because this information is available and has been before my site, and if someone is sick and is seeking to be sicker than they will be searching this stuff out already (with or without my site on the internet), there is nothing to "protect" such people and I assure you they are already sick to being with... my hope is that should they find my site while searching for a way to be sicker that they will also see some of the useful information that I have written and maybe (just maybe) reconsider before hurting themselves. But I can't stop them and never could. This is the same thing that happens when the media, for example, covers a topic such as suicide. The "danger" is that someone watching will then get the idea of how to kill themselves... but the truth is that person was already in trouble and the hope is that when the media covers a suicide they will also list hotline numbers to help people... whether or not a person calls the hotline or goes and kills themselves is 100% up to that person.

>You obviously understand how the disease rotates around competition. How does that knowledge factor into what you choose to put on your site?

Actually, it is directly involved in my site. I am admitting what many don't want to admit and I am owning it. I think people with eating disorders often don't confront their behaviors and issues and instead water it down with "poor little thing" attitudes. What I believe is that we need to take personal responsibility for hurting our bodies and be willing to own up to it. Why this view is seen as "radical" or "contraversal" is a wonder to me!!

>As someone who obiously knows her way around the online world of eating disorders I would love to talk to you about these and other issues. Thanks - I look forward to hearing from you. -L

Thank you for writing me and I hope your article goes well!! I appreciate you taking the time to look through my site and give it some thought. That is my goal in working on it! Cheers, Lisa

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Hi, I think your site is really great. The criticisms of the photo gallery have some merit, although the issue is a complicated one. I am personally at a point with my eating disorder where I don't strive to look like that and I find it helpful to know about all the celebrities who have eating disorders because it shows you that not everybody is naturally skinny, even celebrities. I think maybe you should stress that point more in the celebrity section- that the images we are presented with in the media - images of so-called "beautiful" women, are often truly images of sick women suffering from eating disorders.

I guess you just need to think about each image and its purpose and the message it may send (even if untintentional). I personally felt some of the images were more detrimental than others. Photos of celebrities who are thin but not bony and are wearing make-up, for instance, appear beautiful in their slenderness (for example the photo of Fiona Apple), and in those cases I don't see the images as helpful. But I also know it must be difficult to find a shocking photo of each celebrity because they are rarely caught without their make-up on (make- up can do wonders for a sallow, gaunt face with dark sunken eyes). I also agree that people with eating disorders are drawn to the photographs and may spend more time on your site because of them, and therefore benefit from reading all the wonderful things your site has to offer.

I thought the art work was really amazing and I would like to see more artwork. I think you could improve the sight by adding some writing on feminist perspectives on eating disorders; how eating disorders are a symptom of how our society denies women the right to fulfill their "hungers" and passions. I am actually writing a personal essay about this very subject at the moment and I would be glad to give it to you to post if you'd like. Also you could add a gallery with photographs of beautiful women of all shapes and sizes. I think the site is really awesome though. Take care, Johanna

LISA'S NOTE: I would happily add a gallery of women/men who were either suffering or in recovery from disordered eating in all shapes and sizes... ironically, such pictures are more difficult to get a hold of.

(Aside from putting up pictures of myself at many different weights, I can only ask that others submit their pictures, of any weight, and I will put them up... you can reach me here)

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I just wrote you a long note but I have to add one thing. When I wrote the previous note I had not seen the photos of people who have died from eating disorders. I have been both anorexic and bulimic but I am now at a normal weight and do not restrict. I do, however, continue to battle with bulimia each and every day.

I know it can kill me, but it doesn't stop me from doing it. Seeing the face of Kimmy who died of bulimia at 34 made my throat grow tight and dry as tears welled in my eyes. She looked so healthy. So happy.

She looked like me. I don't want to die. I have to fight this and stop now before it kills me. I am going to Renfrew next month (for the second time) and I am taking next semester off from school. I am vowing to myself not to go back to school until my eating is under control.

I WILL NOT DIE FROM THIS DISEASE. -Johanna

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Dear Lisa,

As some one who has anorexia to the worst possible case I felt I should write you. I am dieing from anorexia I am 16 yrs. old. I have been to your web site and I think the articles are good, but I think any one who really has an eating disorder who went to your site and looked at the

pics. it would not help them at all but do the opposite and hurt them. I think any one who had an eating disorder that went to your age b/c of how are minds work you do compare. I can tell you right now it hurt me because it made me feel fat, however my Mother looked at all the pics. and very sadly said Amy I don't see one person on hear who is in as bad shape you are. (meaning thin wise) And of course b/c I'm anorexic this made me happy. I just wanted to nicly tell you I think you should keep the web site with the articles b/c they are great but please if you want to help girls out threr do them a favor and get ride of you pics. It is only hurting us. I also wanted to congradulate you on surviving anorexia b/c its hard I know, I don't have a chance any more. Please write me back I would like to hear from you... what you think. I really think it would be best without pics. I'm not trying to sound mean either. -A

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Subject: Congratulations

Lisa,

I just wanted to congratulate you personally for your excellent website. My husband and I were there yesterday and thought of one word "honesty". It seems nothing is "sugar coated" and I really do like that. Of course, there is some who might take offense to some of the material but as I have found, sometimes you just have to take risks in life and it's surprising the people who stand behind you.

Like you, I work on the website mostly alone and pay for all the expenses. I admire your work and envy your passion. Maybe we can't make a huge difference but if we all make small steps forward - people hear us and people follow.

You do deserve the award and agree with everything you wrote about your website. I am proud to have you as a member of our webring and it's been an absolute pleasure to present you with our award.

The Anorexic Web has been listed on the main page of the S.C.a.R.E.D. website so everyone will know that you have won it. I hope that people take the opportunity to go and visit your very well done site.

I wish you the best in your continued work and should you ever require any help or assistance, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Your Friend,

Janice

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Subject: how right u are

god i came here, getting a hint from someone on the fishy site that this was a horrible site, and contrary to that, i was wowed by your honesty and by the self that i saw in you. I wish we all knew what it was that made us come here, all i know is that i admire and respect what u have done in developing this site. I have been in and out of the hospital and i am getting well, i hope, or rather i know. And seeing your struggleonly enhanced my feelings of wanting to be well, not sick, I commend you, i commend your struggle, but most of all, i am so glad someone out there thinks the thoughts i hide (chastising calista flackheart but wanting to be her at the same time) how right you are,, You are a wonderful infuluence and i thank you for being here, and for telling your story..

Love, Rae

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Subject: anorexia - my daughter

Hello,

I found your site one of the most interesting and informative but at the same time bizzare and disturbing. Some of the things you have put on here are triggers and better left alone. I wonder what kind of a mind you have encouraging anorexics who feed off of this stuff to read more about people dying and their need to continue the downhill path. If your site was dedicated to the positives of curing this illness, seeking help and giving these girls more encouragement instead of pictures and ways to continue this awful illness then perhaps I would have more respect for your site.

My daughter devours anorexia websites instead of food. How sad.

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True.