Table For Two

It happens EVERY DAY and NO ONE talks about it. Friends HELP friends develop eating disorder habits, much like the famous "peer pressure" in drug use (which has been talked about quite often). You know what I'm talking about it, chances are its already been a part of your experience. So many victims of disordered eating that I have met tell me about the tricks they learned from their friends. I have always wanted to do a formal study as to how often this actually occurs and to what degree does it play a part in perpetuating the disease.

Some diets actually encourage the dieter to have a "dieting buddy" so the two may keep each other "in check" about the diet rules. This sounds like a way to have two (most likely) females "bond" with each other in a pact that is actually destructive and diminishing to the self-esteem. On the flip side, the existence of "bingeing buddies" is also common, when friends will bond together in the act of overeating, sharing with each other their darkest sides (the binger within, the very real very human part of us that wants to indulge and be uninhibited) and still accepting each other, unconditional love. In addition there are also "purging buddies" who kneel side-by-side in the bathroom and also divulge their darkest sides (the purger within, who is often a source of shame which is lessened when there is another purger around) creating a secret club type of feeling that appears secure and unique (but is not).

Eating disorder "buddies" teach each other how to be sick (examples: 'try these laxatives they work for me', or 'lets challenge each other to see who can lose weight the fastest', etc.) and can keep each other sick by being "bonded" in the secret. But this is NOT the definition of friendship. Helping and teaching each other how to take care and love oneself is real friendship... accepting and supporting a person is an act of friendship. If we judge the drug pushers who offer their "buddies" drugs are viewed as "bad friends" than we REALLY need to rethink the concept and existence of eating disorder buddies.

{A deathly example of dieting buddies can be found in the case of the Kendal twin sisters read about them and see pictures in here.}

I want to scream, cry, SHOUT out to every single young girl in this country to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do something radical and LOVE yourself and don't spend your life time hating your body, be different than me and my peers and our mothers and their mothers... take ADVANTAGE of the opportunity to be strong and make a big political statement by simply really loving yourself (and your friends). I hope the next generation of women, born beautiful as every generation has been, will actually KNOW it this time.

May The Goddess Touch Your Life (and if you don't know anything about the concept of a female god, I urge you to find out as soon as possible). -Lisa

P.S. I believe in a God also, and I absolutely celebrate men, I also know that men struggle with disordered eating ALL THE TIME, in fact, more men than you think have an eating disorder (and no, they are not all gay or athletes, most of them are just your average guy so don't believe that stereotype)... I've worked with MANY men and I will write about this separately soon.

Visit Food For Thought page 4 to read about a male bulimic.