A d a m ' s A p p l e
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The following was written by a wonderful young male musician who has struggled with anorexia nervosa... He has become one of the very few guys willing and able to talk about his struggles with an eating disorder. This is what he has to say:
“How can you tell me that I’m dying if I feel fine every morning when I wake up?” I questioned as Dr. T shared the melancholy news of my physical health. In the course of twelve months, I plummeted from a high of 170 pounds to a dramatic low of 120. I was destroying my body: my heart rate failed to produce a diastolic measure because it was so low; my urine smelled of ketones because I had forced my body into an unhealthy ketoses procedure; my blood had an incredibly low glucose level; and my testosterone count was far below the minimum. The explanation for such circumstances was simple: I developed a mental condition rarely found in teenage males - anorexia nervosa.
My eating disorder started with the simple decision I made in May of 2002 to lose a small amount of weight. I had read about the success of the Atkin’s Diet and decided that it would be the most efficient course of action to pursue. In following the diet’s guidelines, I completely cut out carbohydrates as well as decreased the amount of times I ate per day. I quickly lost five pounds within a fortnight and from then on was motivated to continue losing weight. The mass practically melted off me, and I consequently received frequent “Hey, you’re looking great” comments. The decision I made in May escalated into an obsession with food and weight by February of 2003. I felt an overwhelming sense of control when I consciously regulated the amount of calories I allowed my body to consume. Between February and September, I plunged deeper into the misery of an eating disorder; yet, at the time, I felt I was accomplishing a major feet by doing my body justice. However, on September 8, 2003, Dr. T informed my parents that unless I was sent to some sort of treatment facility, I would inevitably end up in a hospital, or if not that, six feet underground with a tombstone bearing the words “R.I.P.”
On September 11, 2003, I was admitted into an adolescent eating disorder treatment facility located in California. Due to time in rehabilitation, I was absent from most of the first quarter of my senior year, dating from September 8 until November 14. During my sixty-day stay in treatment, I worked with three therapists who ultimately saved my life: Dr. R, Jen G., and Lisa A. In a culminating effort, these three healers broadened my dark, tunnel-like perception of myself by instilling a new sense of balance and compassion. Specifically, Dr. R worked to help me decrease my “self-critical” voice, in other words, the judgmental side of my personality that demanded perfection in every aspect, including overall physique. Following two months of intense individual and group therapy, I found myself on November 12 leaving Treatment with a new lease on life, one free of the pain of anorexia.
I now like to believe that I am a re-born seventeen-year-old teenager who has been blessed with the opportunity to have undergone treatment. I regret that I malnourished my brain to the point where I did not perform to my capacity during second semester of junior year in addition to the SAT and SAT IIs. However, more importantly, I am grateful to have had the chance to undergo such a life-altering process, a process that has shed light on a life that was once cloaked in suffering. I feel it is my calling to offer support, wherever University I may attend, to those in desperate need of lasting hope.
-Donated by and Written by A, 17 years old
To A, I am forever grateful to you and for you!
I adore you and wish you love and recovery always! >^_^< Lisa
